3 weeks later

Jeffy was 2 years old last week so we bought him an enormous wooden train set and took him for a ride on a steam train. What a brilliant day he had! We set the train set up the night before in the kitchen, he walked in, announced "STEAM TRAIN" sat down and started playing straight away. It was a bit difficult to tear him away from it to open his other toys and I can say that he got spoilt yet again by friends and family. Saying that, he has been a wonderful big brother so he well deserved all the attention he got for the day. 

Alexander is still a godsend of a baby - very quiet and it seems he is thinking when he looks around. I've managed to coax a heartwarming smile by singing "good morning, good morning, sun shines around you dear, good morning, good morning to you" and then rubbing his nose - his face lit up! I just really want to remember every little thing about how my 2 sons are now - I know time has a habit of going so quickly, I can barely believe it's been 2 years since Jeff was born. 

I've been a little bit teary for the last few days - been thinking about my Nan, how she would have loved to have met Alex. Fortunately she had the chance to meet Jeff when he was first born and remember him before she went really downhill. She even asked my Dad to buy Jeff a coat one day, so she must have been thinking about him. She loved Jeff, and we all loved her so dearly, she was simply a beautiful woman. I miss her.

I know it will go but right now I really don't want to return to work. I know it's not until April that I have to return but I got the creeping feeling of dread yesterday afternoon. I'm just loving right now so much I don't want it to end. I'm sure it's my hormones, I seem to be up and down like a yo-yo, but I'm so in love with both my children I can't imagine feeling any other way. And the thought of sending them to nursery breaks my heart! 

Chris and I have started a diet today called the Jacket Potato diet - it's my own diet and I lost weight from it years ago, I went from a size 16 to a 10 and god knows I could do with losing a bit of bulge right now so I'm changing the way I eat. I feel ravenous most of the time though, breastfeeding takes up a lot of calories so hopefully it'll start shifting sooner rather than later. 

Jeff took the dog out for his first walk this morning - he held the lead, played "give us yer stick" on the green and gave Bob a bit of chocolate as well. It was a really great walk! 

Got to go, it's time for lunch!

Alexander

I'm proud to say that I am now the mum of two very handsome boys, and couldn't be happier. Alexander was born Tues morning at 2.35am, weighing in at a very respectable 6lb 12 and a half oz. He looks a lot like his brother and I must say that I am totally smitten with him. He's really good, and reminds me of a little monkey. His hair feels so soft, he's got a boney little bum and really big feet. I love the little noises he makes, just can't believe how lucky I am to have the family I have. Jeff has been a little apprehensive, but on the 2nd day in hospital he walked straight up to Alex and gave him a big kiss. I knew that Jeff would be a wonderful big brother and he proved me right. Alex is only 6 days old but Jeff is talking about him and saying hello to him all the time. Alex has also been shown Jeff's train, he followed it with his eyes. 

This time last week there were only 3 of us. I was taken straight into labour ward and wasn't induced until 1.30pm. I started having contractions at 3pm and gave the midwives a hard time, convinced my uterus was spasming when it wasn't, and what I was experiencing was normal contractions. I had my clexane at 7.30 and then thought my waters had broken at 8pm when it was actually a blood loss. I was taken straight down to labour and was immediately given gas and air, I gave some to Chris and he said he was surprised by the high it gave him. We were both giggling like a couple of hippies and the midwife didn't quite know what to make of it! I was then given pethadine which sent me into heavy sleep for literally a minute until the next contraction came, then 'd wake up, groan and then go back to sleep. 

It was painful, the midwife helped my cervix dilate along the way and was wonderful to me. I don't think I'd have got better care anywhere else. 

I had to stay in hospital for a few days and was surprised that the afterpains were so strong, and that my milks kicking in would send me into such a state but again, they took great care of me and for that I will be eternally grateful.

Life back at the ranch is trying to get into a routine of normalness. We're all getting to know Alex, and we all love him. Having a baby is overwhelming. Having 2 beautiful boys is a blessing. Having 2 beautiful boys and a fiance I can trust with my life with goes beyond words.