21.7.07

38 and 1/2 weeks pregnant with angel number 2. When will it arrive? I can't get it out of my mind for what feels like more than 2 minutes, although I know I gave some serious consideration earlier to sausage and buttered mash with carrots, green beans and onions drizzled with balsamic vinegar.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a heffer with this one - not like my first, whereupon I felt like a beached whale. No, this is a compact bump and I'm still active, the summer has been kind to me unlike 2 years ago where my feet blended into my legs and my ankles virtually disappeared for 2 months. My hopes are that angel number 2 is blessed with a similar nature to that of my first, sweet Jeffy. Jeff has been to 2 scans to see the new baby, he rubs my tummy and says "baby" but also does the same to Daddy which I'm sure offends poor Daddy.

3 days ago I was convinced I was going into labour. I had the aches, the tightenings and the loss of sense of humour, the painful cramps - everything that spelled out labour to me. False alarm though, how disappointing. I even alerted the next door neighbours in case I needed a lift to the hospital in the early hours, I was that convinced. Next morning I woke up and still had the pains, now they've completely gone. I really don't want to be induced again, I've tried everything; sex, pineapple, blazing hot curry, bumpy road, hoki (I think it's called hoki - when you press down on the pressure point under the bone of your index finger along the webbing between thumb and index finger), meditation - what else is there? Mum said some words of comfort which were that maybe I am trying too hard. Midwives tell you that the baby will arrive when it is ready.

Sat on the beach 2 days ago I had the realisation that everyone I saw had mums who all went through similar experiences- some of them would have been early, some late, some by cesarian, I'm sure some didn't make it to the hospital in time, but all of these people I saw before me were all here, all enjoying themselves in the warm weather. It made me realise that everything is going to be alright. I wish I could think of that all the time, but my mind is racing with so many thoughts that I find it difficult to calm myself into a rational state. What is rational, anyway?

For now, making dinner will keep me occupied. I've also got to carve up that watermelon Dad gave me 3 days ago........